Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Get Back To Parenting our Children by Akindele Akinyemi

What ever happen to actually being a parent? It is easy for us in the urban community to lay down with each other and sex each other to death but we forgot about this thing called responsibility. It is common today to see our children act in such a manner that is out of order in the classroom because we simply stop raising them.

Time to take back our values that have been stripped away from us by government. In fact, the government is so involved in our personal space that they are now dictating on how we should raise our children. They want us to wean our children from breast milk from the mother but not be weaned from the government's breasts.

Parents are a child's first teacher. However, when we allow the older siblings to raise their younger siblings while the mother is out working 16 hours a day between two jobs while the father is nowhere in the picture then it creates a strain on the home.

Speaking of the father being in the home when are Black men going to learn to keep their ass at home with their loved on instead of roaming the streets? Why do we destroy relationships with our women by cheating on our spouses? In fact, why do men cheat? Not just in relationships but how many times have you heard of a quick-rich scheme from a man who just do not want to work hard and become educated?

Allow me to explain this from a spiritual point of view. A bad father-child relationship can produce long-lasting spiritual damage in the life of the child. That damage will cause multiple negative repercussions in other spheres of that child’s life for years to come. No wonder Scripture warns:
  • “Fathers, do not exasperate your children” (Ephesians 6:4).
  • “Fathers, do not embitter your children” (Colossians 3:21).
However, if only 10% of the Black community believes the Bible is the moral truth and 90% of the church is emotion I can clearly see why we are not holding up our end of the stick when it comes to parenting.

Fathers have an strong impact on their daughters. Most future romantic relationships to occur in a girl’s life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her father. If he rejects and ignores her, she will spend her life trying to replace him in her heart. If he is warm and nurturing, she will look for a lover to equal him. If he thinks she is beautiful, worthy, and feminine, she will be inclined to see herself that way. But if he thinks she is unattractive and uninteresting, she is likely to carry self-esteem problems into her adult years.

I have also realized that a woman’s respect for her husband is significantly influenced by the way she perceived her father. If he was overbearing, uncaring or capricious during her developmental years, she may disrespect her husband and question his judgment. But if Dad blended love and leadership in a way that conveyed strength, she will be more likely to live harmoniously with him.

When was the last time we sat at the dinner table as a family with no television on? What about a family outing? Demonstrating that relationships can work is hard work especially when it comes to parenting. We have to begin teaching our children how to wash clothes, cook and clean up behind themselves. Parents have a responsibility to teach and discipline their children. When we do not discipline our children chaos exists in the classroom.

Parenting means commitment between father and mother. If this does not exist then it should be between two responsible people who love each other of the opposite sex. I am not in favor of civil union or same sex relationships for I strongly feel that these relationships are detrimental to the development of family and children as a whole. The best parents are those parents who are practicing a healthy marriage.

We need a new approach to parenting and this time we do not need government involved.

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